[Asterisk-Users] [Off Topic] humour, XMAS, ground loop - good business strategy

[Samudra E. Haque]

hi, I received this e-mail which contains a "ballad", at first I thought it
was junk mail, but then I read through it, for the EE members of this list,
it may be quite humorous.

I don't know if the ballad is original, but at least it's the XMAS season,
so it's something to lighten up your day, eh?

-samudra


""" How the Ground Loop Stole Christmas """


Every dude down in dude-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Ground Loop,
Who lived under Dude-ville,
Did NOT!

The Ground Loop hated Christmas!
And Santa and Miss Claus
Now please don't ask why,
No one knows the cause.

Maybe his connector wasn't screwed on just right.
Could be, perhaps, that his crimps were too tight.
But I think the most likely cause of it all
Might be his cable was one conductor too small.

But Whatever the reason, the crimps or the screws,
He lurked there on Christmas Eve hating the dudes.

"They're shopping and bopping, they're trying and dipping,
they're chirping and burping and buying and sipping
They're hanging their stockings!" He growled with a frown
"Tomorrow is Christmas!  I must take them down!"

The Ground loop was angry, his face full of fury
Had the dudes known, They'd have started to worry

>From deep in his mind, a plan did now hatch
So evil and wicked, a way he could catch
Dudes and dudettes in the midst of their shopping
Action and motion all suddenly stopping

His plan was so vile, his scheme was so clever
The dudes would ponder and remember forever
The dancing and singing and cash registers ringing
Would grind to a halt and now become screaming

The wicked intent of Ground Loop's foul mind
Searched dudeville all over, hoping to find
A careless young dude, oblivious to worry
Who strung up his wires in too much of a hurry

Probing and looking and peering and viewing
The eyes of Old Ground Loop were roving and moving
At last he did find on late Christmas Eve
A witty and gritty technician named Steve

So nifty and thrifty and clever was Steve
Economy and elegance you wouldn't believe
A master he was of superior design
Quality, six sigma and kaizen combined

Solid and robust and savvy his plan
Earthquakes, hailstorms and rain to withstand
A world class design, I give you no jive
Except for a small problem with 485

Sarah in purchasing had called to contest
A thousand dollar reduction was her request
For Sarah, young Steve's heart did so yearn
Shave pennies he would, her favor to earn

In blueprints and drawings and plans he looked
The requested amount of savings was booked
Her hand at the dance he then requested
With hope in her heart, his invitation accepted

The music played and dancing ensued
A beautiful evening with romance imbued
And as she decided his company she liked
Ol' Ground Loop with fury did finally strike

His target of terror, the signals in town
In bedlam and confusion the traffic would drown
And just as Steve turned to take her back
All the stoplights of dude-ville went Black

Chaos and confusion did quickly arise
The Ground Loop now claimed his deadly prize
Only for want of optical isolation
The town of dudeville suffered desolation

Riots and shouting and crashes were heard
Gridlock and damage and cursing incurred
As Ground Loop witnessed this loss of control
A tumult of joy filled his dark soul

Shamefaced and panicked the couple sat glued
A strenuous discussion quickly ensued
"You asked for cost savings" Steven accused
"You skipped isolation" Sarah diffused

Upright they bolted as both realized
This disaster would get them both downsized
They became a team, no longer a faction
They opened the door and flew into action

Through gridlocked streets the couple dashed
To save Dude-ville from Ground Loop's hash
Back to the office they breathlessly ran
So Christmas in Dude-ville could resume again

Raiding his toolbox Steve rummaged with fury
Never before had he worked with such hurry
Widgets and gidgets and gadgets did fly
Until the optical isolator caught his eye

With sweat on his brow replaced the foul node
And threw the failed unit in the commode
The power switch flipped in a flash of commotion
Steve prayed for stoplights to begin their motion

Despite his best hope, the darkness remained
The Christmas disaster his job record stained
Down to his knees he fell in despair
Until he heard sleigh bells filling the air

Up he looked, and to his surprise
Eight reindeer and sleigh greeted his eyes
Can it really be?  Can Santa be real?
I thought Santa was a a mythical deal!

This santa was young, and he had no fear
He had the tools of a data engineer
Steve looked at his nametage, now he could see
This was Mike Fahrion from B&B!

"Saving your bacon today is my job
Restoring dude-ville, yessiree Bob
I have now come because one thing you forgot
Without changing bias, terminate you must not!"

He lectured to Steve all about termination
Bias and cost cuts and infatuation
And then with a wave of his hand he did turn
The stoplights of dude-ville to once again burn

All around dude-ville the happiness spread
The cars and the trucks they suddenly sped
Mirth and merriment and singing and cheer
Celebrating the happiest day of the year

Now Ground Loop stomped and he romped and he fumed
Mad that the cheer of Dude-ville resumed
His plan was now foiled, the intent so cruel
Now he must locate a different fool.

Stephen and Sarah stood breathless and beaming
Shoppers and presents and autos now streaming
Thankful again to work they could go
They snuck a kiss under the mistletoe

"Merry Christmas to all" said the B&B Man
"And don't cut corners on your project plan
To save a few pennies and flirt with disaster
In 485 you must isolate the Master."

To make sure this mistake was never again made
The man from B&B on his website displayed
A guide to prevent more Christmas messes
See http://www.bb-europe.com/485successes

~~~

Merry Christmas from the B&B Man in Red!
mailto:support at bb-europe.com






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