<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 11:39 AM, Vlasis Hatzistavrou (KTI) <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:vhatz@kinetix.gr">vhatz@kinetix.gr</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
<div class="im"><br>
Steve Murphy wrote:<br>
><br>
><br>
> On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 9:13 AM, Vlasis Hatzistavrou (KTI)<br>
</div><div class="im">> <<a href="mailto:vhatz@kinetix.gr">vhatz@kinetix.gr</a> <mailto:<a href="mailto:vhatz@kinetix.gr">vhatz@kinetix.gr</a>>> wrote:<br>
><br>
</div><div><div></div><div class="h5">> I can't believe what I'm reading... Some people are being spat upon and<br>
> they think its raining!<br>
><br>
> Or at least they don't recognize in others the right to feel offended<br>
> under certain circumstances.<br>
><br>
> In this case then, I'm sorry, I take back everything I wrote. The<br>
> comment was right: Europeans seem to be silly after all.<br>
><br>
><br>
> "Silly" is so low on the insult scale, that someone really<br>
> angy would lose all his heated steam by even using<br>
> "silly". His anger would seem silly, or laughable. Everyone around would<br>
> see the<br>
> irony and start laughing. The person who used it would/should have a<br>
> tough time<br>
> keeping a straight face himself. So, "silly" is more for humor than<br>
> anything else.<br>
> If you want to get more insulting, more strong, use something like<br>
> "ridiculous".<br>
><br>
> It reminds me of the Prince, hunting the captors of his kidnapped<br>
> fiance, in the<br>
> movie "The Princess Bride": "If they kill her, I will be "miffed"! Or<br>
> did he use<br>
> "peeved"? I can't remember!<br>
><br>
> It's wise not to take insult where none was intended. Let your attitude<br>
> be that<br>
> of the Black Knight: "It's only a flesh wound!"<br>
><br>
> murf<br>
<br>
</div></div>Indeed it is wise not to take offense only if _no offense was intended_.<br>
But can you really be sure about the intentions of the writer in that<br>
particular sentence of comment in the code?<br>
<br>
If the original writer had no insult in mind he could have used a ":)"<br>
or even a ":P" to indicate his intentions. But he chose not to and<br>
unfortunately the literal reading of the sentence does not convey the<br>
intentions of the writer.<br>
<br>
So, it is up to each reader to decide if he is offended or not.<br>
Therefore, some people _were_ actually offended by the literal meaning<br>
of the sentence, because to them (me included) he left no doubt that he<br>
actually believes that Europeans are silly because they use one codec<br>
over the other.<br>
<br>
And a question to all of you who believe we should not take offense by<br>
this comment:<br>
<br>
Please tell me with all sincerity, if such a remark about a group of<br>
people being silly was done against any other group (for ex. various<br>
minority groups), would there not be a storm of reactions from all<br>
directions, even if the comment was _clearly_ with good intentions?<br>
<br>
So, why not in this case, too?<br>
<br>
Don't we have the _same_ right to feel offended?<br>
<br>
Or do we have to twist the meaning of a sentence until it does no<br>
offense and we brush it off, just to feel magnanimous, aloof,<br>
untouchable by petty remarks, to say "It's only a flesh wound!" like the<br>
Black Knight, or whatnot?<br>
<br></blockquote><div><br>Exactly. I can't express to you enough that "taking insult" is simply a choice,<br>and almost always, a bad one. It does you nor anyone any good to <br>choose to be offended. So why bother?<br>
<br>Human pride is not a healthy state. It blinds you to reality. Avoid it all<br>costs. The English "taking" insult is an interesting but accurate turn of<br>phrase. To "take" insult implies that it does not belong to you. Contention<br>
is rarely useful. Avoid it for more positive behavior.<br><br>And, nowhere on the web is it demanded to end all humorous with :), ;), or<br>whatever. For stuff as obvious as the statement you read, you, as a netizen,<br>are expected to assume it.<br>
<br>So, yes, you are expected to brush it off, remain always magnanimous, <br>and humble, and never take offense. Life is so much easier that way.<br><br>murf<br><br><br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
Regards,<br>
Vlasis.<br>
<br>
PS: To those who post diagrams and stats on how much swearing can be<br>
found in various open source project: The argument here is not about<br>
using foul language ("silly" can hardly be categorized as foul). It is<br>
about a demeaning comment against a group of people found in public,<br>
open source code. This is why it is meaningless to utilize such<br>
diagrams/stats in this discussion. </blockquote><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
<div><div></div><div class="h5"><br>
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</div></div></blockquote></div><br><br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Steve Murphy<br>ParseTree Corp<br><br>